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nervouslike
06.30.04 (8:50 pm)   [edit]
ok so, i just dont understand something. if anyone can explain people who show up, completely out of the blue, and then disappear on purpose, please let me know. i dont know why im even still thinking about it. its kind of an old topic.

so, im tryin real hard to focus on staying focused, haha. story of my life. im studying the bible. its so funny! im exercising. i go to work everyday and i have a lot of money. but i should practice more. i have to schedule a voice lesson soon. im kinda lonely. i cut all my hair off! my teeth fucking are beautiful and perfect. i really REALLY wanna start learning russian, but my italian still sucks. i havent had "fun" in a couple months. but i really dont care to. i like being at home with my music and my books and my family. i think im totally blocking out this "future" thing for the time being, cause im scared. i think about politics a lot. theres someone im really interested in, but i dont think he likes me. ive started watching sex and the city and its hilarious. i like mcdonalds salad. im intermittently learning to drive, and i scare the crap out of my mom. im convinced that ben jelen is the man for me. and im not kidding. i hate not being on the pill.

and in closing, maria callas fucking rocks. not only was the woman the savior of opera, but she was also fluent in english, greek, italian [i]and[/i] french.





 
hair, etc
06.27.04 (3:51 pm)   [edit]
i think im gonna cut all my hair off.

i feel fat. i think im gonna go exercise some more.

my teeth are fucking sexy.

i painted my nails a really awesome color.
 
good thoughts
06.25.04 (7:29 pm)   [edit]
CaseyRotten14: you just feel anxious and depressed?
DesertRose626: i just do the same stuff everyday
DesertRose626: yeah
CaseyRotten14: i feel like that musically right now
CaseyRotten14: in 2 months you are outta here studying at the oldest conserv in america
DesertRose626: yes
DesertRose626: i am
DesertRose626: and i think it scares me
CaseyRotten14: it should
CaseyRotten14: if it didnt, you wouldnt need to go
DesertRose626: yeah youa re right
DesertRose626: youa re totally right
DesertRose626: totally fuckign right



i saved this because it makes me feel better.
 
hanson is awesome
06.24.04 (7:03 pm)   [edit]
i love hanson and i dont care what anyone says. i really truly love hanson. and im so excited that i get to see them play again!

anyways, im bored. i hate work. blah. i just wanna have some fuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!!!!! :shock:


=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
this is getting out of hand
06.23.04 (8:47 pm)   [edit]
=http://img78.photobucket.com/...


but i knew i was in love with this man.
 
ok, so yeah, where are guys that look like this?
06.22.04 (9:31 pm)   [edit]
=http://img78.photobucket.com/...


sigh
(in nashville i will make him mine!!)
 
so
06.22.04 (3:29 pm)   [edit]
im totally moved out of tampa. i packed up the rest of my stuff and said goodbye to my apartment today. although i will miss my friends there, leaving didnt make me sad. this year has been a transition period in my life. and now im ready to move forward.

good good good good news! we're driving up to Nashville in July to see the Hanson/Ben Jelen concert!!! ahhhhhhhh!! im so excited!! i was sad because hanson will be playing in clearwater on september 4th when im in boston, but mom decided we could take a road trip now so that id get to see them :D

oh and, 1 more pound down as of today :)
 
im am the alpha
06.20.04 (9:03 pm)   [edit]
my mood is starting to lift a bit i think. im kicking all kinds of ass, working out, making money. i feel pretty good. my voice is sounding and feeling fine. ive got some new repertoire. im excited about boston!

my lover jb came to see me tonight. we watched some chinese horror movie, haha. john is awesome. i always love hangin with him :)

so i drove today. it was the first time id driven in like a year. i was feeling frisky, so i figured what the hell, ill just take command of this biatch. so i took the wheel from my mom, chanting "LETS RIDE BITCHES!!!" i was on fire. whipping around my neighborhood, forgetting to use my blinker. i parked in the parking lot of these office buildings and reversed out real quick, ready to take off. after i turned the wheel i couldnt figure out why i kept going backwards. i kept slamming the break, then the gas, flying backwards toward some big metal bars, my mom totally flipping out. i finally realized, oh yeah, the car was still in reverse!! then my mom told me id never drive again 8) hahahahahahahhaa
 
yes!
06.19.04 (3:24 pm)   [edit]
i lost 6 pounds!! yay! after over a year of half assing this weight loss thing, im finally buckling down and doing it. i feel so much better. 6 down, 21 to go :)
 
no, but really
06.18.04 (11:21 pm)   [edit]
=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
ben jelen
06.17.04 (7:17 pm)   [edit]
i want him to impregnate me.


=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
rien d'importance
06.12.04 (10:38 pm)   [edit]
im here. im bored. its late. the summer drags on. at least im making my own money now. and i have a bank account. and ive been working out. im being somewhat productive. ive even been thinking about getting my license *gasp*. that would be really cool. and my birthday is in 2 weeks. i wanna find a my little pony cake, but i dont think it exists. i guess ill have to settle for the little mermaid or something again. 2 weeks. thats JUNE 26TH, hehe
 
haha
06.11.04 (10:57 pm)   [edit]
when i was in elementary school, i was maliciously teased about my weight. i was a pretty little girl, very sweet, but i was short, fat, and nerdy. i remember crying because they called me a whale. i remember feeling like i could never measure up to the skinny popular girls. in fifth grade we went to enterprise village. the majority of the students were awarded menial jobs: blockbuster, kanes furniture, sanitation. i, naturally, was hired as the attorney at law. i collected the highest wage available. i remember spending the lunch break at mcdonalds, waiting while those bitches cooked my food.


today i thought about that and laughed. i guess im just a bitch like that.
 
bleck
06.10.04 (9:49 pm)   [edit]
i love how.....ugh. i cant even explain it. i just love it. its really great. :x
 
we all agree
06.09.04 (7:41 pm)   [edit]
jason is a hotty.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

bahahahahahaha
 
...
06.07.04 (9:41 pm)   [edit]
im so ready for a new beginning.
 
new resolve
06.06.04 (9:24 pm)   [edit]
ok so, ive pretty much given up all hopes and dreams of having a fun summer. its really not even necessary. all that matters at this point in time anyways is working as much as i can, studying, practicing, and getting in shape. come august ill be thanking myself for being so prepared. bottomline: if you see me losing focus or eating a donut, give me a quick slap on the hand.
 
we'll call this my arabian pop star pic
06.05.04 (11:32 pm)   [edit]
but look how pale she is :oops:

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
i felt more homage should to be paid to this picture.
06.05.04 (11:17 pm)   [edit]
my friends are fucktards. geoff's face is priceless.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
yay
06.05.04 (3:36 pm)   [edit]
just got my room assignment from NEC- 4th floor! coed baby 8) and im rooming with a trombonist who is also a transfer student. rock.
 
...
06.05.04 (12:11 am)   [edit]
Wir gingen durch die stille milde Nacht,
dein Arm in meinem, dein Auge in meinem.
Der Mond goß silbernes Licht über dein Angesicht,
wie auf Goldgrund ruhte dein schönes Haupt.
Und du erschienst mir wie eine Heilige,
mild, mild und groß und seelenübervoll,
heilig und rein wie die liebe Sonne.
Und in die Augen schwoll mir ein warmer Drang,
wie Tränenahnung.
Fester faßt' ich dich und küßte, küßte dich ganz leise.
Meine Seele weinte.


-Otto Julius Bierbaum (1865-1910)


 
lame
06.04.04 (9:27 pm)   [edit]
=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
why doesnt someone just fucking punch me in the face
06.04.04 (9:14 pm)   [edit]
well, i feel fucking alone. whats new. i swear. ive been trapped in this house so long. and it seems like no one even fucking wants to see me. i have like no one left. so i guess this whole drastically relocating myself thing is a good fucking idea.

tonight has thoroughly sucked. its been the crappiest night in a while. and in the past half an hour, a whole new dimension of weirdness was added. yeah. so now im just out of it. blah.
 
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